By Pminton

OK. I’m a Soul Calibur fan (despite the fact that The Chad Pwn’d me with his eyes closed). I’m also a huge Star Wars fan. What I’m not sure about is this trailer for Soul Calibur IV featuring Darth Vader and Yoda as playable fighters.

I’ll also refer you to today’s Penny Arcade strip for it portrays my initial reaction better than I can write here. I have gone from Gabe’s wide-eyed, conspiracy-theorist diagrams to Tycho’s scathing skepticism. I am both sides. On one hand I’ve always wanted to see Star Wars characters in a fighter (aside form the completely terrible Masters of Teras Kasi) but, on the other, Soul Calibur has always been a more story-driven fighter than most. How in the name of the seven gaming hells are they going to explain this? Alternate universes? Space-time rifts? It’s all inside an autistic gamer’s snow-globe?

For some reason this is unsettling. At first I thought it was because they were using the Star Wars characters in a way that made no sense. Then I thought about Episodes I - III. It’s already been done. So, why am I so wary of this crossover? I think it’s the scene where we see a lightsaber being blocked by a metal sword. A lightsaber. By definition it can cut through nearly everything (I’m pretty sure that dude’s sword isn’t made of cortosis). It made me realize that a full-fledged Jedi (or Sith) could take any Soul Calibur fighter apart without even igniting their saber. So, they have to be dumbed down to fit the physics of the game. Doesn’t that just make them regular SC characters with a different skin? I know that games don’t have to make sense and I’m trying desperately to keep this post from turning into a fanboy argu-rant so I’ll just leave it at that.

Except that everyone knows that a (dark) Jedi would win. Every time.

By Pminton

Being a gamer around the Christmas season is like being Augustus Gloop in the Wonka factory minus the Oompa Loompas. Seriously, there are so many things I would love to play but there just aren’t enough hours in the day. If I didn’t have to work I might get through them all.

This time of year every game company wants to get their product out by Christmas. That means that every game I’ve been looking forward to is coming out within two or three weeks of each other. For the past few weeks I’ve been trying to figure out a way to play World of Warcraft, Super Mario Galaxy, Rock Band, Guitar Hero III, Portal, Team Fortress 2 and Legend of Zelda: The Phanom Hourglass at the same time to maximize my gaming. So far all attempts have been unsuccessful. Picture it: A dude with a DS stylus in his mouth and the DS itself attached to a harmonica neck brace, drumsticks taped to his feet, a GH III controller in his hands rolling his face around on a keyboard that is controlling two computers (one with Portal running and the other with World of Warcraft). You understand my conundrum.

I sat down the other day to make a schedule so I wouldn’t leave anything out. It turned into a 2 hour Excel-spreadsheet session with a lot of cross-referencing, re-doing and swearing. Honestly I think that I would have to move to a 37 hour day, stop sleeping and maybe even stop blinking. Just since I started writing this article four more games have dropped that I feel I must play. This shows no signs of slowing until well after the New Year. I may very well have died and gone to gaming hell. I get to play 20 minutes of a game and the Gaming Devil comes by, cracks a whip and I have to move on to another game never to finish the first. Not only that, but I have a long whip-mark on my back.

The problem gets compounded by having to go Christmas shopping for folks (which I usually enjoy), attending my mother’s graduation from Master’s study (grats, mom!), working, spending time with family and friends, etc., etc. I found myself getting angry about having to do anything. I was getting terribly irritable. I actually snapped at my wife because she couldn’t make Firefly come back to television. I was beginning to resent Real Life (not the excellent comic by Greg Dean). I was becoming a jerk.

But, inevitably there comes a moment of clarity. No matter what, when my emotions get too extreme I have these humbling, head-clearing moments. This time it came in an email from a friend. Her brother–also a dear friend of ours–had to go to the Emergency Room and is going to need some unexpected and expensive surgery. Unfortunately, his new insurance policy doesn’t take effect until January 1st, and this surgery won’t be covered.

Running the risk of this post turning into schmaltz, I still have to say it: there are more important things in this life than Mario Galaxy and World of Warcraft. Family, friends, being alive to see another Holiday season and maybe most important: helping people. My video games will all still be right there waiting as long as I need them to; the chance to spend time with friends and family might not be. If I miss a Mana Tombs run, I can get on board the next one. If I miss a gathering with people dear to me, I can never recreate those moments.

So I want to take a moment to ask for help from you. We want to be able to help our friend with his medical bills, but as you’ve probably guessed, writing a blog doesn’t pay all that well. We can’t do a whole lot alone, but we’d like to ask for your help in raising whatever money we can.

If you haven’t already made a charitable donation this holiday season, please take this chance to help someone who needs and deserves it. Absolutely anything is a huge help, and the smallest donation is as welcome and appreciated as the largest.

Look to the top right of this page and you’ll see a PayPal donation button titled “The Surgery Fund”. That’s where you can give. It’s completely secure, and everything donated will go directly to the family of our friend to help with medical costs. We’ll be making a more formal post about this soon, but it’s never too early to give a little.

If you’re like me and the biggest problem you have this holiday season is not finding enough time for video games, then things aren’t too bad, right? Please consider giving. Any amount will be very much appreciated. Maybe you’ll find your moment of clarity.

(Also, if you don’t, it’ll make kittens cry and Santa will probably leave a festive lump of canine turd in your stocking. Seriously, I just talked to him. It’ll happen.)

By Pminton & Cechols

Here’s a little story about a game. A game for the ages. A game above all other rhythm games. I’m writing, of course, about Rock Band.

Our story begins many hours ago at my local “store-which-must-not-be-named” (The Chad is boycotting said store). I was in line behind several people - already impatient - when I heard the beleaguered employee tell the people in the front of the line that the Rock Band Bundle they just purchased was the last one.

I not-so-calmly leaned around the person in front of me and said,”It had better not be!” I may or may not have used profanity - the details are blurred in the face of the supreme rocking that we eventually beheld.

He looked up at me and said something along the lines of, “That’s the last one in the back.” To which I riposted, “Then you need to go look again. I pre-ordered this thing six months ago.” Obviously not happy about being addressed this way, but still (to his credit) willing to give customer service a whirl, he agreed to go look again when the rest of the customers were served. I told him that the rest of the people could wait and that he should effing well go find my copy of Rock Band. On that point I was defeated. I had to wait my turn. Woe, woe was me.

At any rate, after waiting in the store for what seemed like an eternity within a Mobius strip wrapped around a temporal anomaly I finally got my hands on the Rock Band Special Edition Bundle Pack! Turns out there was one back there somewhere. Probably it was the one he was saving for himself. But regardless, it was in my hands and I was quick to get the hee-haw hell out of there.

To the car, to the condo, to unpacking the box. Immediately, the first (of few) annoyances was discovered. For some reason, the wired Fender guitar controller needed 3 AA batteries. And since I use the Nyko Charger Station for my Wii-motes I had zero AAs in the house. A trip to the store later and we were ready to rock….almost.

The band and character creation is a little complicated and time consuming. It took longer than any of us expected to get our rockers and band named, outfitted and stage-worthy - but overall it was just a speed bump in the parking lot of Rock. The biggest annoyance that my band of nerds and I discovered is that in between every step of creation the game needed to talk to the “Rock Central Server” over Xbox Live. Generally it would take 20-30 seconds to talk to the server and then another 15-20 seconds to load the next step. Seriously. Waiting a full minute between areas takes a big chunk of the excitement out of the game right from the start. It’s quite irritating.

We’re talking about every incremental step here. Creating characters, changing band rosters, finishing a set…the communication with the Rock Central Server is frequent and quite annoying.

That being said, once you actually get to play the game with three other people…all thoughts cease. There is only rocking. Me and three other uber-nerds were rock stars for about 6 hours last night. Honestly. Rock Stars. With capital R and S.

–

Chris here. By the time I arrived at the party, much of the time-consuming setup had already been slogged through. So I was spared much of the initial annoyance. But I quickly got my own taste of the Xbox server delay frustration. After finally creating my own rock avatar and after we disassembled one band trying to figure out how to add a new player to an existing roster, the unadulterated awesomeness began in earnest.

I’m a big fan of the Guitar Hero franchise, but I didn’t have the first bit of interest in the guitars. I was at the party for one thing, and one thing only: the drums. Now, I’ve never been a drummer - nor do I have any reason to believe I’d make a good one. But secretly, inside everyone who’s ever made themselves look like a seizuring epileptic while air-drumming in their car, there is a rock drummer just dying to wail a killer solo. I am one of those people.

Make no mistake - the first time you try to keep the beat in Rock Band, if you’re not already skilled at multi-tasking your hands and feet in separate movements, you’re going to blow it. The kick-pedal is tricky as hell at first. It’s sort of like trying to pat your head and rub your stomach at the same time. But! You will get better.

Before long, I was feeling good about my drum skills, and the four of us were rocking venues with ease. Even our singer, who (unbelievably) wasn’t familiar with almost any of the songs, managed to tear up the vocals like a champ. Once I started feeling like I wasn’t a total failure at the drum set, I started noticing how good it felt to be a part of this “band.”

It sounds silly, but you genuinely get this awesome sense of cooperation. It’s a microcosm of the same feeling that drives real rock stars to be so addicted to and passionate about performing. It’s a tiny taste of the natural high that comes from working together to really kick ass musically.

The individual parts of the game function beautifully. There’s no question that you’re going to have a great experience even without a group to support you. But when you’re together with the full band, shredding licks and wailing hellacious drum beats, you feel it. That is where this game rises above anything else you’ve ever played.

If you’ve ever wanted to feel the thrill of being a rock hero, you can’t afford not to put your $170 down on the counter for Rock Band.

By Pminton

So, around the first of the year I downloaded a free trial of a little game you might’ve heard of. As the matter of fact, if you haven’t heard of it you should check your pulse. Because you’re probably dead.

I’m talking, of course, about World of Warcraft.

Now, I’ve done my fair share of Everquesting, Dark Aging in Camelot, Hero-ing in cities and participating in the Final Fantasy - you know, the eleventh one. That being said, I’ve always considered myself to be a hobbyist, if you will, with MMOs. But apparently that’s changing…and it’s a little scary.

Now, not only do I blog, shop Thinkgeek and play Wee War at work, but I read the WoW Wiki, Worldofwarcraft.com forums, and Thottbot. I now plan in-game instance runs through a Google group specifically set up for that purpose. I find myself thinking about how to be a more effective priest at inopportune times. Meetings are especially bad. For example:

Supervisor: So, Patrick, what do you think we can do to boost book circulation on the IT end?

Me: Well, I would suggest dropping Shadow Word Pain and Mind Blast as soon as possible, pop a bubble and then wand the thing to death. What?

But it’s not an addiction. I can quit anytime I want.

Although, I have never had a game so completely occupy my mental facilities. Not since Starcraft and maybe Diablo II has a game so completely infiltrated the way I think. You know you have a problem when walking toward someone on the street you start to veer away so as to not activate aggro as you move past. Not that I’ve ever done that - I’m talking about a friend of mine…who also plays WoW.

Not me. My friend.

So, what makes the game so effing addictive? Here’s my guess:

On the surface WoW is not that different than any other fantasy-based MMO. You kill stuff, you get XP (experience points for n00bs), you get better gear, you level up, repeat. The cooperative play is better in World of Warcraft than in most other Massive Multiplayer games - with the exception of City of Heroes, which, in my opinion, might take the teamwork aspect too far. But that’s one of the big hooks.

WoW also has three previous RTS (Real Time Strategy) games with huge and compelling storylines to draw from. Other MMOs lack an overarching story to propel the player through neverending quests. In World of Warcraft, nearly everything you do has some relevance to the story or some small subplot. Whether you choose Horde or Alliance, you begin in a world nearly drowning in references to Jaina Proudmoore, Arthas Menethil (a Paladin in Warcraft III that *spoiler* turns into a Death Knight under the Lich King’s control), The Scourge, etc.

I’m going to say that this is probably the reason a lot of fans of the original three Warcraft RTS games stick around for WoW, but there are over 8,000,000! subscribers (compared to the 500,000-ish subscribers for Final Fantasy XI circa June 2006) worldwide and I imagine that not all of them had played Warcrafts I-III. Hell, a lot of the players you’ll encounter in Azeroth weren’t even alive when WC1 and WC2 were released.

A major part of the reason I keep playing the game has less to do with the game itself, and more to do with socialization. Now, before you say, “Hey, nerd! Go hang out with people in real life!” let me interject that I do that too. But WoW lets me talk to and interact with friends that have moved away. We chat on our Ventrilo server while we’re playing more than we ever would on the phone.

We’re guys, after all. We don’t call each other anyway. We don’t even like each other that much, really. Wait. Why am I playing with you jerks in the first place…?

Another feature of World of Warcraft that keeps people coming back is the game’s economy. Blizzard has put in place a pretty impressive economic system that nearly completely revolves around the players. Sure, monsters drop money and you can sell stuff to NPC (Non Player Characters) vendors, but the real money to be made is in the hub of the player fiduciary system: The Auction House.

The AH (as it’s known in WoW lingo - imagine that) is an in-game Ebay. You literally can find and/or sell almost anything in the game at the Auction House. You need a lite-brite? Look on Ebay. You need some buzzard meat? Look on the WoW Auction House. Seriously, if you happen to be an economics professor and would like a microeconomic example of supply/demand, have your students roll a WoW trial character and watch the transactions that go on in a day in the AH.

Even trades between players that forego the Auction House show how well thought out and effective the economic system in World of Warcraft is. If you need a golden rod, for example (don’t ask what they’re for, you might be sorry), you can look on the Auction House, but if that fails, what do you do? You find a PC (Player Character, natch) that has Blacksmithing as a profession and ask if he can make one for you. You might have to provide the materials, and he’ll expect a tip (probably) for his work, but it still gets you what you need if you can’t make it for yourself. And what’s this? A tidy segue into….

Professions. There are ten major professions from Mining to Tailoring with things like Alchemy and Engineering in between. Of these ten, any PC may take two as their jobs. It’s nice to take two complimentary professions so you can help your fellow players and/or make some money by selling your goods. For example, in the higher levels, Tailoring combined with Enchanting makes some awesome cloth armor that sells rather nicely on the AH (so I’m told). Basically, there are few things in the game that you need that you or another player can’t make. Again, very thorough.

That said, I haven’t seen a prophylactic-smith yet. Maybe in the next expansion.

There are a ton of pop culture references in the game to keep geeks on their toes. For example, (this is something I heard from a friend, so grain of salt, please) there is apparently a mechanic of some sort in a Horde area in the Outlands named K. Lee and talks about things being “shiny” a lot. In Un’goro Crater there are tons of Nintendo references - in one area you have to kill gorillas. Can you guess what loot the gorillas leave behind? Yup, barrels. There is a gyrocopter pilot around Azshara named Xiggs Fuselighter and if any of you can tell me for who and from which fandom he is named you win a bunch of bonus points.

So you see, if you dig down into WoW you find a lot of reasons why people lose themselves in the game. It’s an alternate reality. Instead of being a lowly IT worker, I can be Psion - a shadow priest that heals while he kills! Instead of a programmer, you could be a bad-ass warrior with two gigantic maces and lots of plate armor! Instead of a teacher you could be a warlock with a demonic minion and super-hurtful spells. It’s an easy escape into a fantasy world that millions of people find appealing.

There are, of course, those who take it too far - like these folks - but for the most part the people playing are just trying to get a little release by pretending to be someone else. Come on, who doesn’t do that. Especially in the bedroo-. Er.

Honestly, if you like video games at all (and it doesn’t count if you only play Madden ‘0x, so put your collar down, flip your hat the right way and talk your ‘bros into playing something else), I would suggest giving a trial account a try. If you do, you’ll be able to understand what this means: WTB [runecloth] x20 PST.

And you never know, you might just find your soul mate in the lands of Azeroth. Be careful, though. They could end up being Tauren.